To the "Ordain Women" Movement: Some Thoughts
First, I want to apologize. I realize that not everyone in the "Ordain Women" movement is a woman, but for just a second, I want to speak directly to the sisters in your group, and indeed to every sister on the planet. I'm truly sorry. I'm not sorry that you face unique challenges - God uses those to build you, and all of us. I'm not sorry that some among you wish you had something that you don't, because in reality we all want something which we don't have. I'm certainly not sorry that you are a woman. But I am sorry that the men of the church often fail to fulfill their duties, especially those duties which so directly concern you. Now, it takes both a man and a woman to have a family, but in my limited experience, it is often the man of the house who shirks his duties, who is lazy in his marriage and fatherhood, who fails to take the lead in spiritual matters, who provides a lukewarm example for his children, and who ultimately is the first to lose the faith. On many occasions I have been sent by bishops and branch presidents to visit inactive families and to invite them to come back to the church. Almost without exception, the dear sister in that home has sat and listened with patience, humility, and charity, while her husband is the exact opposite - with the wool pulled so far over his eyes that he's almost proud of his defiance - excuses at the ready, talking points lined up, and with false justification fueling his sense of carnal security. I am sorry, dear sisters, that this is so common among the saints. The only thing I can do is to say that this will never happen in my home.
Regardless of our personal shortcomings, and realizing that I am in no way an expert on gender relations, I wish to offer a few thoughts on the topic of the priesthood which have been on my mind recently. I feel a great desire to document my thoughts, so that 1) others can know where I stand, and 2) I can organize and articulate my feelings.
There is a statement in the Gospel Principles manual which sparked my thoughts on this matter, and touches on an important principle to remember when talking about the priesthood:
"When we try to use the priesthood to gain wealth or fame or for any
other selfish purpose, 'behold, the heavens withdraw themselves;
the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to
the priesthood or the authority of that man' (D&C 121:37)"
This is really just a paraphrase of the 35th-37th verses of D&C 121. The point is that the moment when the priesthood becomes a way to gratify ourselves - when the focus of the priesthood bearer is shifted to himself instead of the people he is to bless - the priesthood authority of that man becomes non-existent. Priesthood authority is given to man on earth so that we might bless the lives of others. Authority to act in the name of Jesus Christ was not given to us so that individuals may have a feather to stick in their cap, or so that we would have the appearance of being righteous. No, Priesthood authority was given to man so that we might lose ourselves in the service of others. As Neal A. Maxwell put it – “God cares very little about cosmetic public relations, and everything about human relations” (from The Mormon Milieu, BYU Devotional, October 23, 1971). How others perceive us plays no role in our ability to exercise the priesthood. Selfishness is step one in ensuring that priesthood authority is nullified in any given individual.
This is a lesson that each member of the church is still learning – whether they hold the priesthood or not. It’s a lesson that will take me an entire lifetime to understand. But what does this mean for the Ordain Women movement? To be quite honest, I haven’t heard an argument for women holding the priesthood which is not based upon a selfish desire. The statements of “I want to be able to baptize my children”, or “I want to hold leadership positions in the church” – they’re all selfish in nature. They all assume that the priesthood is given in order to make sure that each priesthood holder feels empowered – that each bearer of the priesthood can do the things that they wish to do. Here – let me try it “I want to hold the priesthood so I can be an Elder’s Quorum President.” See?
While it’s good to want ordinances for those that you love, the focus should be on the ordinances, not on who is performing them. A great portrayal of this is that the decision of who performs an ordinance is not made by the priesthood bearer – it is made by the one receiving the ordinance. No person can perform a priesthood ordinance for someone who does not choose them for the job. This is why I strive to be worthy to bless my children, to name them, to baptize them, to confirm them and so forth. But in the end, the ordinance is what opens the doors of eternal life to my children, regardless of who performs it. I have had ordinances which are essential to my eternal progression performed by people who I had never met before, and who I haven’t seen since. All of this proves that priesthood authority exists to bless OTHERS. A priesthood holder’s will should be swallowed up in the will of the Father. To desire to hold the priesthood so that you can gratify your pride or ambition is selfish, and shows a complete lack of understanding as to the role of the priesthood on earth.
I know what comes next – but Chris, don’t you feel blessed to be able to officiate in ordinances for those you love? Of course, the answer is yes. I absolutely feel blessed and honored to have these opportunities. Then why, one might ask, don’t you feel that it is wrong for someone else to be denied that same blessing just because they are female? The simple answer: Heavenly Father chooses who holds the priesthood, not His children. He knows the end form the beginning and He has His reasons. This answer is not satisfying to someone who believes that the leaders of the church are out of touch with God. I am disturbed by the attitude of those who disregard the counsel of a modern prophet in this issue. So many in the Ordain Women movement act as if Heavenly Father would certainly do things their way if these darn Apostles and Prophets would just get with the program. I’m sorry – that’s not how this works. To believe in such a thing is to believe that God is bypassing His chosen servants and revealing His will to you for the entire church instead of them. This is inconsistent with the established pattern of revelation, and if this thought process is persisted in, it will lead to apostasy.
Another answer to the above question is that the mother of a child who is receiving a priesthood ordinance is denied no blessing at all. Let me tell you what I felt when I gave my daughter a name and a blessing. I felt the Spirit prompt me to pronounce blessings of protection upon my daughter. I felt inspired to bless her with a knowledge of who she was named after (her mother). I felt impressed to admonish her to read the scriptures, and to be one who seeks to relieve suffering and to bless others through service. Along with other blessings, I sealed these on her head in the name of Jesus Christ. Guess what – my wife felt inspired to instill these and other values in her as well. My wife wants Lauren to know who she is, and to have a desire to serve others. It’s not going out on a limb at all for me to state that had my wife been officiating in the naming and blessing of our daughter, she may have used different words, but she would have blessed her with the same things. My wife and I both felt the satisfaction of having the priesthood bless our daughter so early in her life. We both rejoiced that our daughter was born in the covenant. We shared the joy and the special feelings that come from such an ordinance. The only difference is that I was the one authorized to be voice in the ordinance, and as a result I was standing in front of a group of people, and I was the one speaking into the microphone.
Is this what the Ordain Women movement wants - to be the one standing in front of the congregation and the one to speak into the microphone? Because the spiritual, eternal blessings that come from the exercise of priesthood authority are available to everyone. So what eternal blessings are women missing out on? Isn’t the Ordain Women movement chasing earthly recognition and acclaim? Wouldn’t we criticize any man who aspired to hold the priesthood so others would think differently them? We certainly know that to use the priesthood in order to get recognition from others would cause the powers of Heaven to withdraw. So I ask again – what eternal blessings are women missing out on? If the Ordain Women movement is merely seeking to gratify their pride in the eyes of the world, then we should have the sense to distance ourselves from that effort.
If the time comes that women are ordained to the priesthood, I will be the first to rejoice, because when God commands us to do something, that something is always right. In our home, it has been my wife’s spiritual sensitivity and righteous disposition which has made me a better priesthood holder. Odd how that works – my wife is made better by watching me try to be a righteous priesthood holder, and I’m made better as I watch her strive to be a righteous mother and sister in Zion. Could it be that this is what God had in mind – a setup where men and women need each other’s differing gifts in order to learn what they need to become more like Him? Instead of giving each gender exactly the same responsibilities, He knows that by giving us different duties we will necessarily have to learn to work together, learn from each other, and show gratitude for one another. I don’t pretend to be able answer the “why don’t women hold the priesthood” question, but it’s clear that there could be benefits that we don’t understand. We might have to place our faith in the Savior who can help us repent if we’re too concerned about looking righteous, and who can speak peace to our hearts without giving us every answer to every question.
In fact, there’s no maybe about it. Either the Savior is speaking to His chosen servants who guide this church, or He isn’t. Either the priesthood being given only to men is what He wants right now, or if it isn’t what He wants, then the church is not led by his Chosen servants. If the latter is the case, and the church has fallen into apostasy, why would the Ordain Women movement want to be ordained as priesthood leaders in an apostate church? In summary, if the church is truly led by prophets of God, then the Ordain Women movement needs to humble themselves and align their desires with Heavenly Father’s (as we all need to do). If the church is in apostasy, then why are any of us still here, working our tails off to perpetuate a lie.
So I ask the Ordain Women movement: which is it? Is the church true or not? Is Thomas S. Monson speaking with Heaven, or isn’t he? Whichever one you pick, you’re not acting in accordance with your answer. That’s why I think this is more about garnering recognition and praise from the world than it is about securing the blessings of eternity for your families. That’s why I think this is based upon a flawed understanding of how the priesthood blesses everyone, not just those who hold it.
I hope that each of us will come closer to our Father in Heaven by fulfilling our duties as equal partners with members of the opposite gender. Can you see how childish it must seem from Heaven’s point of view, as we quarrel and fight over which things we want – like toddlers fighting over toys? Can you see how much more godlike it is to humbly submit to will of our Father (whether we’re male or female) and develop our differing talents and try our best to become better at whatever our duties may be?
I testify that God is keenly aware of our situations. He knows more than we can imagine, and we’re here to be tested by Him – to see if we would obey even when we didn’t have all the answers. Could this be one of His tests? If so, how is each of us doing? I hope that we can do better and better with each passing day – I know He’ll help us if we are willing to lay down the weapons or our rebellion and submit to Him as a child submits to their Father.
Regardless of our personal shortcomings, and realizing that I am in no way an expert on gender relations, I wish to offer a few thoughts on the topic of the priesthood which have been on my mind recently. I feel a great desire to document my thoughts, so that 1) others can know where I stand, and 2) I can organize and articulate my feelings.
There is a statement in the Gospel Principles manual which sparked my thoughts on this matter, and touches on an important principle to remember when talking about the priesthood:
"When we try to use the priesthood to gain wealth or fame or for any
other selfish purpose, 'behold, the heavens withdraw themselves;
the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to
the priesthood or the authority of that man' (D&C 121:37)"
This is really just a paraphrase of the 35th-37th verses of D&C 121. The point is that the moment when the priesthood becomes a way to gratify ourselves - when the focus of the priesthood bearer is shifted to himself instead of the people he is to bless - the priesthood authority of that man becomes non-existent. Priesthood authority is given to man on earth so that we might bless the lives of others. Authority to act in the name of Jesus Christ was not given to us so that individuals may have a feather to stick in their cap, or so that we would have the appearance of being righteous. No, Priesthood authority was given to man so that we might lose ourselves in the service of others. As Neal A. Maxwell put it – “God cares very little about cosmetic public relations, and everything about human relations” (from The Mormon Milieu, BYU Devotional, October 23, 1971). How others perceive us plays no role in our ability to exercise the priesthood. Selfishness is step one in ensuring that priesthood authority is nullified in any given individual.
This is a lesson that each member of the church is still learning – whether they hold the priesthood or not. It’s a lesson that will take me an entire lifetime to understand. But what does this mean for the Ordain Women movement? To be quite honest, I haven’t heard an argument for women holding the priesthood which is not based upon a selfish desire. The statements of “I want to be able to baptize my children”, or “I want to hold leadership positions in the church” – they’re all selfish in nature. They all assume that the priesthood is given in order to make sure that each priesthood holder feels empowered – that each bearer of the priesthood can do the things that they wish to do. Here – let me try it “I want to hold the priesthood so I can be an Elder’s Quorum President.” See?
While it’s good to want ordinances for those that you love, the focus should be on the ordinances, not on who is performing them. A great portrayal of this is that the decision of who performs an ordinance is not made by the priesthood bearer – it is made by the one receiving the ordinance. No person can perform a priesthood ordinance for someone who does not choose them for the job. This is why I strive to be worthy to bless my children, to name them, to baptize them, to confirm them and so forth. But in the end, the ordinance is what opens the doors of eternal life to my children, regardless of who performs it. I have had ordinances which are essential to my eternal progression performed by people who I had never met before, and who I haven’t seen since. All of this proves that priesthood authority exists to bless OTHERS. A priesthood holder’s will should be swallowed up in the will of the Father. To desire to hold the priesthood so that you can gratify your pride or ambition is selfish, and shows a complete lack of understanding as to the role of the priesthood on earth.
I know what comes next – but Chris, don’t you feel blessed to be able to officiate in ordinances for those you love? Of course, the answer is yes. I absolutely feel blessed and honored to have these opportunities. Then why, one might ask, don’t you feel that it is wrong for someone else to be denied that same blessing just because they are female? The simple answer: Heavenly Father chooses who holds the priesthood, not His children. He knows the end form the beginning and He has His reasons. This answer is not satisfying to someone who believes that the leaders of the church are out of touch with God. I am disturbed by the attitude of those who disregard the counsel of a modern prophet in this issue. So many in the Ordain Women movement act as if Heavenly Father would certainly do things their way if these darn Apostles and Prophets would just get with the program. I’m sorry – that’s not how this works. To believe in such a thing is to believe that God is bypassing His chosen servants and revealing His will to you for the entire church instead of them. This is inconsistent with the established pattern of revelation, and if this thought process is persisted in, it will lead to apostasy.
Another answer to the above question is that the mother of a child who is receiving a priesthood ordinance is denied no blessing at all. Let me tell you what I felt when I gave my daughter a name and a blessing. I felt the Spirit prompt me to pronounce blessings of protection upon my daughter. I felt inspired to bless her with a knowledge of who she was named after (her mother). I felt impressed to admonish her to read the scriptures, and to be one who seeks to relieve suffering and to bless others through service. Along with other blessings, I sealed these on her head in the name of Jesus Christ. Guess what – my wife felt inspired to instill these and other values in her as well. My wife wants Lauren to know who she is, and to have a desire to serve others. It’s not going out on a limb at all for me to state that had my wife been officiating in the naming and blessing of our daughter, she may have used different words, but she would have blessed her with the same things. My wife and I both felt the satisfaction of having the priesthood bless our daughter so early in her life. We both rejoiced that our daughter was born in the covenant. We shared the joy and the special feelings that come from such an ordinance. The only difference is that I was the one authorized to be voice in the ordinance, and as a result I was standing in front of a group of people, and I was the one speaking into the microphone.
Is this what the Ordain Women movement wants - to be the one standing in front of the congregation and the one to speak into the microphone? Because the spiritual, eternal blessings that come from the exercise of priesthood authority are available to everyone. So what eternal blessings are women missing out on? Isn’t the Ordain Women movement chasing earthly recognition and acclaim? Wouldn’t we criticize any man who aspired to hold the priesthood so others would think differently them? We certainly know that to use the priesthood in order to get recognition from others would cause the powers of Heaven to withdraw. So I ask again – what eternal blessings are women missing out on? If the Ordain Women movement is merely seeking to gratify their pride in the eyes of the world, then we should have the sense to distance ourselves from that effort.
If the time comes that women are ordained to the priesthood, I will be the first to rejoice, because when God commands us to do something, that something is always right. In our home, it has been my wife’s spiritual sensitivity and righteous disposition which has made me a better priesthood holder. Odd how that works – my wife is made better by watching me try to be a righteous priesthood holder, and I’m made better as I watch her strive to be a righteous mother and sister in Zion. Could it be that this is what God had in mind – a setup where men and women need each other’s differing gifts in order to learn what they need to become more like Him? Instead of giving each gender exactly the same responsibilities, He knows that by giving us different duties we will necessarily have to learn to work together, learn from each other, and show gratitude for one another. I don’t pretend to be able answer the “why don’t women hold the priesthood” question, but it’s clear that there could be benefits that we don’t understand. We might have to place our faith in the Savior who can help us repent if we’re too concerned about looking righteous, and who can speak peace to our hearts without giving us every answer to every question.
In fact, there’s no maybe about it. Either the Savior is speaking to His chosen servants who guide this church, or He isn’t. Either the priesthood being given only to men is what He wants right now, or if it isn’t what He wants, then the church is not led by his Chosen servants. If the latter is the case, and the church has fallen into apostasy, why would the Ordain Women movement want to be ordained as priesthood leaders in an apostate church? In summary, if the church is truly led by prophets of God, then the Ordain Women movement needs to humble themselves and align their desires with Heavenly Father’s (as we all need to do). If the church is in apostasy, then why are any of us still here, working our tails off to perpetuate a lie.
So I ask the Ordain Women movement: which is it? Is the church true or not? Is Thomas S. Monson speaking with Heaven, or isn’t he? Whichever one you pick, you’re not acting in accordance with your answer. That’s why I think this is more about garnering recognition and praise from the world than it is about securing the blessings of eternity for your families. That’s why I think this is based upon a flawed understanding of how the priesthood blesses everyone, not just those who hold it.
I hope that each of us will come closer to our Father in Heaven by fulfilling our duties as equal partners with members of the opposite gender. Can you see how childish it must seem from Heaven’s point of view, as we quarrel and fight over which things we want – like toddlers fighting over toys? Can you see how much more godlike it is to humbly submit to will of our Father (whether we’re male or female) and develop our differing talents and try our best to become better at whatever our duties may be?
I testify that God is keenly aware of our situations. He knows more than we can imagine, and we’re here to be tested by Him – to see if we would obey even when we didn’t have all the answers. Could this be one of His tests? If so, how is each of us doing? I hope that we can do better and better with each passing day – I know He’ll help us if we are willing to lay down the weapons or our rebellion and submit to Him as a child submits to their Father.